Integrative Essay-A Humble Servant

         C. S. Lewis once said, “Humility, no less than the appetite, encourages us to concentrate simply on the knowledge or the beauty, not too much concerning ourselves with their ultimate relevance to the vision of God” (Lewis, Learning in War-Time). C. S. Lewis not only writes about humility, but he also writes with humility throughout all of his writings. He gives examples throughout his essays and books of how humility can be seen in all areas of life whether that be through school or job, arguing, marriage, and even dealing with one’s talents and gifts. As humans, the easiest thing is to be self-focused. Humility is something that one can only truly be given from God and it is necessary if one desires to grow stronger as a Christian. Though C. S. Lewis has great insights and his writing is very enlightening, even he will admit that all his wisdom comes from God. That is why it is important to look at scripture. Colossians 3:12 says, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” The Apostle Paul commands many things of Christians, one being to put on humility. Paul wants everyone to clothe themselves with humility, to wear it wherever one walks. If C. S. Lewis and Paul both believed that being humble was important, then there is a lot that one can still learn about it. 

 
In C. S. Lewis’ “Our English Syllabus,” He paints together a beautiful picture of what humility as a student should look like. As a student, there are times where it is hard to know how to study and what attitude is important. He says “Play to win and you will find yourself taking violent exercise; play because it is good for you and you will not” (Lewis, Our English Syllabus). This can also be accounted for in regular studies. If one’s only goal is to get an “A” on the next test or a higher GPA then his friend down the hall, then he will be “taking violent exercise.” This connects to what the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians. He knew his job was to go around the world and preach. He didn’t do it because he wanted to beat one of the disciples, but his attitude stayed humble and willing to learn in whatever circumstance. Yet, he humbly admits that his humility comes from Jesus Christ who “being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, [Jesus] made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross!” Jesus also had a job to do. Though at one time I am sure that it was to be a student, God sent Him to be the perfect sacrifice so that one day, no matter one’s job or physical stature, there will be a great party in Heaven for everyone. Jesus had every right to desire a crown, brag about acing all of His Old Testament Bible literature exams, or during a running race force angels to come down and give Him swifter feet. Jesus demanded and desired none of this. As Cornelius Plantinga Jr. said, “[Jesus] acted like a repentant sinner. He got himself baptized, like every sinner, He absorbed accusations. He accepted rebuke without protest....and then, at the end, He died slowly on an instrument that the Romans had invented to kill their enemies, and first to humiliate them” (Plantinga, 81). Jesus offered himself as a fragrant sacrifice to God, humbly and obediently. In “Learning in War-Time,” C. S. Lewis said that “The work of a Beethoven, and the work of a charwoman, become spiritual on precisely the same condition, that of being offered to God, of being done humbly ‘as to the Lord’ ” (Lewis, Learning in War-Time). As a Christian, Lewis reminds me to look towards the example of one who obediently and humbly worked as a servant.

 
          Though humility is needed in work, it also needs to be in daily conversations such as when an argument arises. C. S. Lewis talks on arguing in his essay called “Bulverism.” This essay is about the one-sided, selfishness of arguing. He wrote this a good many years ago and this concept is still relevant today. According to him, bulverism is the modern method in a discussion where person A assumes that person B is wrong so then A explains to B how he became so silly. Though it is a word that Lewis made up, it was made with good intentions.  Examples of bulverism today can look like many political disagreements, a shopper getting frustrated at the clerk, arguments between sport players, or even sometimes with siblings. When someone says that another is wrong, yet gives no reason as to why, it hurts. It is necessary that if one is a hockey player, they do not shove someone to the floor because he is simply on the other team or when two sisters are playing dolls, that one does not retaliate because dolls are not fun anymore. When conversing with others, love and humility need to evident. Many times this may mean giving a sound reason for why one feels the way they do. “But you can only find out the rights and wrongs by reasoning - never by being rude about your opponent’s psychology” (Lewis, Bulverism). If C. S. Lewis found this to be true then, this can also be true today. The Holy Spirit is key in showing bulverism in everyday conversations with others. Lewis said in “Meditation in a Toolshed” that “One must look both along and at everything. In particular cases we shall find reason for regarding the one or the other vision as inferior” (Lewis, Meditation in a Toolshed). Sometimes when disagreeing with a friend, it is easy to sometimes just look “at” a person and see only what they are arguing about without looking “along” the other person and trying to find where they are coming from. Psalm 19:14 says, “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” One’s words and thoughts should be committed to the Lord so that they can be pleasing, whether that be on a sports team, with a sibling, or in an everyday situation.  

 
         On earth, Jesus Christ spent time teaching about love as did His followers and the Apostle Paul. This love was not the mushy, passionate love that is shown on television today, but much deeper. It is shown by two lovers. Paul wrote on love with humility. First Corinthians 13:4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Many times through pride, love can become confused. Yet, love can be beautiful if one loves with humility. In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis describes the love as being between two lovers as what the Greek call Eros. “That Eros is ‘noblest’ or ‘purest’ when Venus is reduced to the maximum” (Lewis, The Four Loves). The Greek god, Venus, was a portrayal of the sex between two lovers. Sex does not equal Eros. Eros is the love that first Corinthians talks about. Though sex can be an affect of Eros, Eros is pure and noble. Sometimes it is when love is confused with pleasure or sex that pain and hurt become relevant. “Pleasure, pushed to the extreme, shatters us like pain” (Lewis, The Four Loves). When anything, especially the very passionate part of love, is “pushed to the extreme,” nothing is done in humility. It becomes self-seeking, proud, dishonoring. C. S. Lewis and I both do not truly know what it means to know Eros - the passion, desire, and faithful commitment. Yet, we have had examples of parents and grandparents to show what true Eros looks like with Venus reduced to the maximum.  

 
Whether one is in love or not, God gives each person gifts and talents. C. S. Lewis refers to talents and gifts in “Learning in War-Time” as something that one is hungry for or has an appetite for. “An appetite for these things exists in the human mind, and God makes no appetite in vain. We can therefore pursue knowledge as such, and beauty, as such, in the sure confidence that by so doing we are either advancing to the vision of God ourselves or indirectly helping others to do so” (Lewis, Learning in War-Time). God does not mess around with His creation. He gives gifts so that His children can help advance others “to the Vision of God or indirectly helping others to do so.” How much more special is that gift if it is offered to the Maker and Creator of the world who desires nothing more than to give help to His children in every way possible. He cannot help bring this gift to its full potential unless His children acknowledge their dependence upon Him. He gives everyone an appetite not in vain but desires that everyone will us their God given gift for Him. What is also humbling is that one’s gifts could possibly not be used directly where one can see the affect of how God is working, but rather one’s gifts could be making a difference miles away from their home. The Apostle Paul says in Colossians 3:17 that whatever one does, “whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Paul lived his life as a faithful follower of Jesus Christ. He faced hardship, suffering, multiple times of being shipwrecked, yet even through it all, he humbly and reverently served the Lord with his gift of preaching. No matter what gift or talent God blesses each person with, they should be done to the Lord in humility knowing that one can either advance him and others more towards “the vision of God” or in the opposite direction. There is no middle ground.

 
         Humility is crucial if one desires God to change the world. Humility in the heart starts first because it is God, and only God, who can bring a change to a heart while doing school work, arguing, marriage, and with one’s God-given talents. As Christians, humility can start with the offering of one’s day up to the Lord through the knowledge that without Him, there is not reason to live. King David puts it well when he says “Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the LORD?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God” (Psalm 30:8 & 9).

Works Cited

Holy Bible: New International Version. Biblica, 1984. Mon. 24 Jan. 2011. www.biblegateway.com

Lewis, C. S. “Bulverism.” From God in the Dock. Print

Lewis, C. S. Four Loves. New York: n.p., 1960. 

Lewis, C.S. “Learning in War-Time.” Church of St. Mary the Virgin, Oxford. 1939. Lecture.

Lewis, C. S. "Meditation in a Toolshed." God in the Dock. N.p.: Eerdmans, 1970.   

Lewis, C. S. "Our English Syllabus." English Society, Oxford. Lecture.

Plantinga, Cornelius Jr. Engaging God's Word. Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdman's Publishing Co. , 2002. Print

The Problem of Pain

There is no way to ignore the fact that there is pain and suffering in the world that we live in. Through “The Problem of Pain,” C. S. Lewis acknowledges the many questions the world has about an all-powerful, all-loving God and the problem of pain. Though Lewis is not perfect by any means, he does bring a lot of challenging ideas to the table and many can be backed up with Scripture.   

One point that C. S. Lewis makes as to why pain is in our world is because as creatures of a higher being, we need to surrender ourselves to the Creator. Yet, with this world, it is hard to be able to be reminded of this self-surrender. Lewis argues that one way we are reminded to be in constant surrender is through suffering. When everything is going well and I feel like I can ace a test or give the best party I can for my friends birthday, I have less of a desire to surrender my self-will to God. But when I realize that I am going through pain, I know that it is something that can not be ignored. C. S. Lewis says it well when he talks about how “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” When I read this quote, I wondered where it is that God has had to use pain in some way to speak to me. I thought of a time when I fell off my bike and my dad was there to show me a father’s love, messing with a dog while she was hungry and was bit, watching my grandpa suffer through pain which caused me to learn patience like never before, go through many days of pure homesickness last semester, and walking into a home in Africa with simply a dirt floor and straw roof where a mom cooked food for children with bloated stomachs. Though none of these times seemed fun to go through, I saw God’s hand at work. When I think about it, I truly did know that God was shouting at me. 

One of Lewis’ metaphors reminded me of Proverbs 26:11 when he says how we need tribulation in our life. If we do not have it, then how do we know that we are growing. When things get easy or I am “freed” from a hardship in my life, I am so prone to go back to what I was doing. It is like how C. S. Lewis says it, I am like a “puppy when the hated bath is over - I shake myself as dry as I can and race off to reacquire my comfortable dirtiness, if not in the nearest manure heap, at least in the nearest flower bed.” How often am I willing to go back to the same way that God found me? I all to often forget the redeeming part that God is doing in me and head back to my flower bed where He will have to teach me the same thing again. 

Vocation-Plantinga-Chapter 5

"For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property.To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them.And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, 'Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master'...He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' But his master answered him, 'You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed?

Matthew 25:14-18,20,21,24-26 

In this parable, Plantinga says in chapter 5 of “Engaging God’s World” that to Jesus it did not really matter for Him which calling His disciples pursued but rather how faithfully they pursued them. To me, this is humbling. Two of the servants were given talents (or money) that they used in ways that made their boss proud. They used their money so wisely in fact that they gained more going beyond their call of duty making the man desire to give them more work to do because he trusted them so well. But one man buried what his boss had given him, desiring to lock it up and be selfish with it for his own gain. God does not call me to be this way with the gifts and talents that He has given me, especially when putting my gifts and talents towards a profession, or as Plantinga says, a “vocation in the Kingdom of God.” 

When it comes to vocation and being a Christian, many feel these have to be seperate: church on Sunday, go to work Monday through Friday, do chores on Saturday, repeat. Yet, in “The Parable of the Talents,” the man gave his servants gifts and when he found that one did not use it to help him but instead used it selfishly, it did not go well in the end. God wants me to use what I have learned I have dreams for and a strong passion for and expand them. He can not do this if they are hidden inside a hole and tied in a bag. He wants me to go out and seek ways that can bring Him glory, but of course, through His help. C. S. Lewis says in “Learning in War - Time” that “All our merely natural activities will be accepted, if they are offered to God, even the humblest and all of them, even the noblest, will be sinful if they are not.” How true this is. My eyes, car, family, friends, school, job are all mere gifts that God has loaned me. (I don’t think this way everyday about it but I am thankful for these little reminders.) If I am not faithful with those, then I am wasting what precious gifts He has given me for my own glory.  

“How wonderful it is when [human beings serve] in conscious acknowledgement of the calling of God and in faith that, between this life and the next, between the partial coming of the kingdom and the full coming of the kingdom, nothing good will ever be lost.” 

Man or Rabbit

“Can’t you lead a good life without believing in Christianity?” 

C. S. Lewis starts his essay called “Man or Rabbit” with this one question. It is very possible to do good in life if one is not a Christian. One can just look at all the good things that are going on in our society today. Many fight for the environment, not just Christians. Many build wells in Africa so that others can have clean water, not just Christians. Many tutor underprivileged students, not just Christians. Many do such good things that they believe this makes them have a good life. But Christians also do good things too and sooner or later one will be able to see that there is a difference. “To the materialist things like nations, classes, civilizations must be more important than individuals, because the individuals live only seventy odd years each and the group may last for centuries. But to the Christian, individuals are more important, for they live eternally.” Christians believe that there is a God who is love and who desires that His children be redeemed and show love to others because of Him. To Christians, good works are the fruit of their faith. How one can tell that an apple tree is what it is because of its fruit, so one can tell more about a person through their works. I, as a Christian, am reminded that I can not do good works on my own efforts though. C. S. Lewis says that “the people who keep on asking if they can’t lead a decent life without Christ, don’t know what life is about; if they did they would know that ‘a decent life‘ is mere machinery compared with the thing we men are really made for.” 

My favorite part in this whole essay is his comparison of morality and a mountain. I personally love mountains. My second home is pretty much Colorado so every year I go skiing or simply just hiking in the mountains. There is nothing more beautiful then standing on the mountain at night with an array of stars laid out to look at or standing on the top of the mountain and you see other mountains off in the distance that are just begging for you to climb or ski down them. C. S. Lewis makes a connection with mountains and morality at the very end of his essay. If we want to be more moral, it is not something that is possible through one’s own efforts and if this was really true, the summit of the mountain is where we would be stuck. There would be no moving onward because the cold air would make us freeze and what would be the point of skiing back down when nobody wants to regress but only make progress. When one believes in Christ and is progressing up the mountain with His help, He will not leave them stuck to die on the summit of the mountain. Christ gives us wings at the summit and “it is from there that the real ascent begins. The ropes and axes are ‘done away’ and the rest is a matter of flying.”  

The Inner Ring

Upon reading “The Inner Ring” by C. S. Lewis, I was caught off guard by something close to the very beginning of the essay. He said that he is going to “do something more old-fashioned than you perhaps expected. [He] is going to give advice.” This sent my mind for a twist. Many times people don’t say that they are going to give advice, but rather just give it. My attention became set on what advice he could give me as a college student. And so, with that, I sat back, highlighter in hand, and I became ready to listen to the words of a wise man. 

What is an inner ring? It is what we call a clique. It becomes hurtful when we believe that it will bring us fulfillment in some area of our life. Lewis states, “I believe that in all men’s’ lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside.” I can’t help but feel that our society sugar coats what he says here with simply the word “acceptance.” But Lewis goes deeper and travels farther down the road where many of us are so unsure. He says that there are many inner rings inside of each other. How true this is. To say that I have not been caught up in one of these rings would be to flippantly lie to you which I will not do. 

One thing about these inner rings is that at the time, they seem almost to die for. Nothing seems to consume your mind more. Many instances come to mind for me of times when nothing seemed more important. When I was in 7th grade, I was suddenly caught in the idea that EVERYONE, at least all the girls, seemed to wear make-up. So what did I do next? You guessed it. I went home and told my mom that I needed to wear make-up. Though my mom gave me another one of those special talks about inward beauty, she didn’t hinder me from trying it out. Another instance was when all I could think about was getting my driver’s license. My friends seemed to be getting theirs and driving places all by themselves. And then there was that time when I felt that I had to practice tennis for at least 3 hours in a day so that I could gain into the “inner ring” of the really good kids who would always go to state each year. Make-up, a driver’s license, or practicing tennis are not bad things. Like C. S. Lewis says “I am not going to say that the existence of Inner Rings is an Evil. It is certainly unavoidable...But the desire which draws us into Inner Rings is another matter. A thing may be morally neutral and yet the desire for that thing may be dangerous.” It was my desire that I let consume me in some way that became an idol in my mind. Like Plantinga says in chapter 3, an idol is “the act of putting [something] alongside God and trying to serve them both.” Though “inner rings” are unavoidable, the strong consuming desire can be avoided.     

The Four Loves-Eros

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

I Corinthians 13:13

In “The Four Loves,” C. S. Lewis writes about the meaning of love from a  Christian perspective. In the Greek language, there are four words for love - storge, phileo, agape, and eros. Though all of these are important, today in class we focused on eros - the romantic love or what people call “falling in love.” 

Many people might associate Eros with the sexual desires that we as humans have but C. S. Lewis defines Eros as something deeper. “Sexual desire, without Eros, wants it, the thing in itself; Eros wants the Beloved.” The thing that he is talking about is the sensory pleasure in love. But this is not something that lasts. If a man were to “love” a woman for the pleasure that she gave him, once he was done finding pleasure in her, he would dispose of her and move on. After all, “one does not keep the carton after one has smoked the cigarettes.” Eros focuses more on the selflessness of love. It is said that when Eros is at its “purest” and “noblest,” that the sexual pleasure is “reduced to its minimum.” Pure love...something that is rarely seen today. Love to our culture seems to look like being married for 5 years and then divorcing, a husband beating his wife, the mushiness in chick-flicks, being trivialized on shows like the “Bachelor”, woman setting up their hopes for the ideal man, etc. But when I think of pure love, my grandpa comes to mind. When my grandma had a stroke 14 years ago, my grandpa was always by her side. Her first night at the hospital, the doctors asked my grandpa to go home. He refused and put up such a fuss that the hospital brought him a cot so that he could be with my grandma at night. I have always been amazed at his devotion and loyalty to my grandma. 

Like I said above, Eros desires nothing for themselves but only thinks about the other person, just like in a Christian marriage, the husband needs to love his wife as Christ loves the Church. The husband is called to love his wife and be the leader in the household. I understand though that this can be interpreted in many different ways today and not everyone sees eye to eye on this topic. But in 1 Corinthians 11:3, it talks about how the order in the household should be God, the husband, and then the wife. C. S. Lewis says it well when he says “This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion.” I saw this with my grandpa when I saw how he would do anything for my grandma and ultimately die for her. 

Learning in War - Time

One thing that I have been struggling with and spending time thinking about a lot has been humility. It is very appropriate since the presentation that I will be giving with some girls is focusing on this through “The Screwtape Letters.” It is something that God has been trying to teach me a lot about, especially through my daily readings in God’s Word.   In a devotional book that I read to help focus my attention, one day made me think. Nancy Leigh Demoss said that “A grateful heart is a humble person, while ingratitude reveals a proud heart.” Where am I not grateful to God? Reading today in “Learning in War-Time” by C.S. Lewis, I was reminded of this when Lewis is talking about how God has given everyone an appetite of knowledge and beauty. He reminds us that “God makes no appetite in vain” whether that be concerning me, a wannabe Speech Pathologist, my brother desiring to be a doctor, or my dad who is a Pharmacist. God gives us our own passions that make us thirst for more. Lewis says that “Humility, no less than the appetite, encourages us to concentrate simply on the knowledge or the beauty, not too much concerning ourselves with their ultimate relevance to the vision of God.” He goes on to say that it is dangerous when our knowing something becomes a delight not in the exercise of our talents but in the fact that they are ours, or even in the reputation they bring us.” 

Going along the same lines as above, God has given me a heart for those born with disabilities. As I have helped teach and most importantly been taught by them, I have noticed something about me that has become scary. When others who are not able to take as high of a paying job because of their cognitive level, many people including myself, do not see those with disabilities 1) as God’s beautiful children and 2) with humility in our hearts. Many times I think that just because they may not talk the same way or are always confined to a wheelchair that it is hard to see their gifts that God has given them. But one thing that Lewis says is “The work of a Beethoven, and the work of a charwoman, become spiritual on precisely the same condition, that of being offered to God, of being done humbly ‘as to the Lord.’” How beautiful it is to see feet walking that humbly proclaim God in whatever gifts that God has given them.

In “The Screwtape Letters,” C.S. Lewis brings up another good point when he mentions how we can become prideful at our own humility. “Catch him at the moment when his is really poor in spirit and smuggle into his mind the gratifying reflection, ‘By jove! I’m being humble,‘ and almost immediately pride - pride at his own humility - will appear.” This brings me back to the devotion that I read the other day about a grateful heart showing humility. When we are grateful to God for the “appetite” that He has given us no matter what we see in others and what their appetite is, we are able to show beautiful humility.       

Redemption - Plantinga's Chapter 4

So many times I have realized how much easier it is to read from the New Testament sometimes opposed to the Old Testament. Sometimes it feels like the New is more applicable than the Old but as I have grown older, I have found this untrue. Plantinga says that “the stories of the patriarchs, matriarchs, and their kin (they are some of the best stories in the Bible) tell of doubt and faith, of strife and reconciliation, of lying and cheating followed by repenting and forgiving.” When I read this, I thought of King David, the Israelites, Hosea, Jonah, and many others. There are many stories to learn from and gain true wisdom from. The God in the Old Testament is the same in the New Testament too. Both of them are needed if we want to gain more wisdom and truth. 

A quote that struck me was “sin traps people and makes them wilt; godly obedience liberates people and helps them flourish.” I could not help but think of a rose. Everyone has seen a beautiful rose that is open and ready to take in all the sunlight that it can. It desires to let its beauty be seen and its aroma smelled. But then one has also seen a dying rose that has no desire to go on with life and face a new day. How sad. It truly is freedom to follow Christ and we gain it by obedience to Him. Plantinga also says that everybody truly does want freedom and liberty, but “everybody wants it on his own terms. But salvation does not work that way. God doesn’t save people and then cut them loose to do what they want, because without the guidance of God ‘doing what we want’ is a recipe for falling right back into slavery.” Without God to save us is like a rose that has no sun or water to help nurture it. 

One thing that I do appreciate about Plantinga is that he does bring a new perspective to Biblical ideas. For example, I know that I am not perfect but I do serve a God that is. Yet, today in class it was mentioned that Plantinga has a poetic way of writing and that is true. When he is talking about atonement, I was struck by what he said and how it was worded because I had never thought of it this way. “Why was atonement so necessary? The reason is that we human beings can’t atone for ourselves.” We truly can’t. Though we try, there is no way that I can because Jesus was the perfect lamb. 

The Poison of Subjectivism

Subjectivism is the belief that one bases on their feelings, experiences, or tastes. They believe that there is no external or objective truth. C. S. Lewis argues against this. 

Every time I read something written by C. S. Lewis, I somehow get this strange feeling that he is writing to me. Though he wrote this a long time ago, it makes no difference. One thing that he writes on is how many feel about tying ourselves to a moral code. As I have seen today, many feel like it is the same as cutting off all progress and start to accept not developing or as he puts it, being stagnant. But how would tying oneself to a moral code stop them from developing? There are many things that have stuck around for a very long time that everyone can agree is a good thing. Take for example marriage. How good it is to see a beautiful couple that have been through heartache and pain but still are married to this day. C. S. Lewis gives other examples like space and how it has still been kept alive, the continuation of math and how one can still keep plugging in numbers and get the same answers, and even with the continuation of washing one’s hands. “If good is a fixed point, it is at least possible that we should get nearer and nearer to it, but if the terminus is as mobile as the train, how can the train progress towards it.” If a person believes that the way to base one’s morals is on their feelings of right and wrong and not have a moral standard, then there is no constant. We, as humans, need a constant. We need a law to keep us sane. I can not help but be reminded of the book “Lord of the Flies” by William Golding. Some choir boys are stranded on an island and have to make their own rules and form their own leader. Long story short, life becomes crazy on that island. Because there was no set of moral laws that were initiated and held the boys accountable, depravity became more apparent. How much more can this society become us. Many people would argue that having no moral law would create more progress in our society but I do not see how this is true. That would only create a world that is more chaotic then it is with people more disobedient, more selfish, more demanding. That sounds horrible. 

Another thing that I would like to touch on is C. S. Lewis’ cube analogy. When I read this, I loved it. It is hard to explain the mind of God and really who He is. We can only explain Him with what our puny minds can comprehend but God is more. As a Christian, I believe that He is part of a Deity. He is not human, just as a cube is different than a square. “Flatlanders, attempting to imagine a cube, would either imagine the six squares coinciding, and thus destroy their distinctness, or else imagine them set out side by side, and thus destroy the unity.” I once saw a lecture movie by Rob Bell where in it he mentions how we only know of seeing things in three dimensional but then goes on to ask “what if God is beyond this?” What if He is 5 or 13-dimensional and we can not understand or comprehend things to the degree and level that He does?

The Fall - Plantinga, Chapter 3

One thing that is nice with reading Plantinga’s book “Engaging God’s World” is that, though I have been taught all my life about Creation, the Fall, and Redemption, it never hurts to hear what others think and even gain more insight to help sharpen my sword for battle. 

When Adam and Eve were in the garden, they walked with God but when they sinned, God had to punish them and send them away. To be honest, I never gave much thought as to why God can not stand sin except that it is evil so it is from Satan. Plantinga says that “God hates sin not just because it violates law, but also because it violates trust. Sin grieves God, offends God, betrays God...God hates sin against himself, against neighbors, against a good creation, because sin breaks the peace - in the first place between the sinner and God.” We are all sinners, fallen short of the glory of God. When looking at our world today, it is easy to see all the mistrust and lack of peace. All one has to do is turn on the news, sit on a bench at a playground, or listen to what is said in your dorm hallway. Evil is strong but thankfully the grace of God is stronger!

He also raises the point about how evil needs good in order to be evil. He quotes from C. S. Lewis saying “a cow cannot be very good or very bad; a dog can both be better or worse; a child better and worse still; an ordinary [person], still more so; a [person] of genius still more so; a superhuman spirit best - or worst - of all. The better stuff a creature is made of - the cleverer and stronger and freer it is - then the better it will be if it goes right, but also the worse it will be if it goes wrong.” I can not but help think about Heaven before even the earth was created. It must have been a party up there. But then, the prettiest angel of all decides that he wants to be just as cool as God himself. His pride takes the best of him and soon he is kicked out of being in the presence of God. How worse it will be for Satan. He knows what good looks like but has rejected even the company of God. After thinking about this, I reflect back on what we read in “Screwtape Letters.” Is there this level of me that takes God for granted? Do I simply go through the motions, not taking time to reflect on the beauty and wonder of God? 

Planting says that there are three ways that we show the corruption of sin. The one that I want to focus on is how we can pollute something that was good. He raises a good point when he says that we pollute relationships with others that were meant to reflect God’s relationship with us and yet also we pollute the very gifts and dreams that God has given us. Maybe I love God and want to be famous, I cannot serve two masters. God wants all of me. And plus, didn’t God give me my desires and dreams in the first place? In “The Pursuit of God,” A. W. Tozer says “We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety [but] Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not committed.”  

Prayer - A Needed Necessity

For show and tell time today I was going to share what God has been teaching me lately.

Every Christmas except two in all 19 years of my life have been spent in Colorado with my grandparents. In the summer, they would drive down to Illinois and spend time with us. They were always at graduation parties, they would send me birthday gifts, and even call us once a week just to touch base. This past March my grandpa suffered kidney failure and was rushed to the hospital. All summer I was blessed with the privilege to go up there and be help take care of him and my grandma and just build a stronger relationship with them.  I watched him suffer through so mch pain. This Saturday, my grandpa went into a coma and in a matter of 4 hours, went to be with our Savior. He is no longer in any pain! Hallelujah! 

I will miss him dearly. My faith has been tested this week. My heart yearns to only be in one place right now, my Grandma’s house. My grandma had a stroke a while back and because of it, has short term memory loss making it hard for her to remember crucial things that are happening in each day. She is aching for her beloved. Sometimes she does not remember that he passed away so she yells for him or asks when he is coming home. Thankfully my mom is there to help but she is asking my mom questions as to whether she was a good enough wife and why did God not take her instead. I can not remember the last time I have felt so helpless. Grieving for a loved one is never fun, and even worse when the ones that you want to grieve with are so far away. I was the comforter this summer to my grandma, but now I have to trust the ultimate Comforter. I have done the only thing I know how to help my grandma right now: pray. I pray for my grandma, uncles, mom, dad, and siblings. I am not the only one grieving because many others were also blessed to love a dear grandfather. C. S. Lewis says in “Screwtape Letters” that “whenever there is prayer, there is danger of [God’s] own immediate action.” Do I believe this? Yes I do. How can I not when God is all I can cling to. He alone is my comforter, my shield, my rock when the storms come. Psalm 62: 1,5,&6 says 

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” 

I leave you with this. Your pain, sorrow, troubles might be great, but God is bigger. Find your rest in Him. He is the God of all comfort and control. 

Mere Christianity

Having read the first book of “Mere Christianity,” I was struck as to the ability that C. S. Lewis has in being able to show the way to Christ without quoting scripture or being forceful with his opinions. Instead he writes with humility and with many metaphors that help me understand his point so much better. 

In the first 4 chapters of book 1 of “Mere Christianity,” C. S. Lewis brings everyone together on equal ground. He starts off with acknowledging that fact that all humans know about the Law of Human Nature. Every human knows that there is something called right and wrong. One can see this, for example, when watching some kids that I babysit. I babysit for a three-year-old and a one-year-old. One night, the three year old girl was set on playing with me until I told her it was time to go to bed. She made a list of all that we were going to do and then set out accomplish what was first on that list: a game of candy land. I was simultaneously playing and watching her brother at the same time noticing that he was toddling around the basement, completely content. We were halfway through the game when her brother walked right through the game messing up all the cards and game pieces. Instantly she grew mad, fuming that it was not a nice thing to do and unfair. This girl, though only three, had a keen sense of right from wrong. Though her brother did not really know better, she knew. All of us grow up with knowing about these too. C. S. Lewis says, “just as all bodies are governed by the law of gravitation, and organisms by biological laws, so the creature called man also had his law - with this great difference, that a body could not choose whether it obeyed the law of gravitation or not, but man could choose either to obey the Law of Human Nature to disobey it.” It is like this law is completely built into us. I really liked when C. S. Lewis shows us a world with morals turned upside-down. For example, what would happen if when the 9/11 attack happened, firemen were honored for not helping find people and not going through the debris of the buildings? Instead of showing kindness to a fellow neighbor, a man double-crossed him and took pride in this? Or the president of the United States just sat at home in front of the TV eating goldfish while our country was in crisis? Though arguments have been made about selfishness, everyone believes that one should not be selfish. This rule “must somehow or other be a real thing - a thing that is really there, not made up by others.” 

In chapter 4, Lewis talks about what goes on behind this law. He says that we know that it is “a real law in which we did not invent and which we know we ought to obey.” But how do we know this? We watch and learn from each other. “We do not merely observe men, we are men.” Having grown up in the Chicago area all my life, about every 3 years my family and I go to The Shedd Aquarium - a wonderful place with a great assortment and variety of fish. I have always been a fan of watching the jellyfish, seahorses, clown fish (Nemo!), dolphins, and so much more. When I look at the fish though, I can only see what they are doing. Maybe they are eating so I watch them come up and nibble. Maybe they are scared of me, so then I watch them swim away. But I can never know what they are thinking because I am not one of them. How am I supposed to know if they have a moral law or not? We as humans, though, have the opportunity to know we have a Law of Human Nature because we can know what we are thinking. We can test and see for ourselves that this is true.    

After reading through chapter four, I felt like I had just drunk a drop of water from a glass when I was parched and needed more. So I decided to drink from chapter 5 as well. If I were to believe that this universe that I have lived on and been a part of for 19 years of my life is not ruled by an absolute goodness, than everything that I am doing today is hopeless. If I say that God is not real, one part of me is still on His side by saying that I agree with His  disapproval of human sin but as for me, I would want Him to let me go this once.  But if I do know that there is a goodness, then all my efforts are hopeless. I fail with this Law of Human Nature. Notice how I underlined efforts. I break it everyday. Lewis says “God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most hide from. He is our only possible ally, and we have made ourselves His enemies.” I was struck by this quote and still am. 

The Screwtape Letters

“The Screwtape Letters” is a collection of letters written from one devil to another. Screwtape, the uncle who is mentoring Wormwood and needs help with diverting their human patient away from the Enemy, Christ Jesus. 

Reading this chapter made me reflect back on a powerful sermon I had once heard. God is one who loves us the most that anyone here on earth could ever love us. God delights in us and wants us to faithfully serve Him. God does not tolerate unfaithfulness. In Revelation 3:15 and16, He says “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Once when I was out eating with friends, I was encouraged to try sushi. I know many people love this but I can not count myself among the many. When I took the bite, the last thing I wanted to do was swallow. Politely I took my napkin and let it out. But there is nothing polite about the way God is going to let it out. He will have no hesitation, no second thoughts. He will spit out whatever has a putrid, yucky, and disagreeable taste. I am challenged to think of where I stand. Am I on fire for God or do I stink? Do I make room to let God grow me or do I have a heart of stone? This chapter has opened my eyes to where I even stand with church. A music artist, Matthew West has a song called “Through the motions.” Is that me? It says in this chapter that “As long as he retains externally the habits of a Christian he can still be made to think of himself as one who has adopted a few friends and amusements but whose spiritual state is much the same as it was six weeks ago.” I like what it says in the next verse of chapter 3 of Revelation. Verse 17 says “You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” It is when I realize this that I am humbled and in need of a Savior because only a Savior can truly save me from being spit out of the only King of Kings mouth. 

When I was in Colorado for my older sisters graduation in Colorado Springs, we journeyed to a ranch for entertainment and western food called the “Flying W Ranch.” We had a wonderful time but half way into dinner, it started raining. No one was worried because it was just a little rain. What was just a little rain turned into a terrible mountain storm. Rain was gushing out of the clouds with no mercy and thunder and lighting were fully attacking. Everyone was piling into cars and so my friend and I found ourselves alone in our family van. We headed to our hotel. Driving down a mountain isn’t hard. But when you are not from the mountains and you can not read street signs because of pouring rain is when nothing seems possible. We tried calling but reception was terrible and the thunder always cut us off. Our lights seemed dim and there were no blinking lights to divert us from following down the street that took us farther and deeper into the mountains. Each turn took us farther away. Thankfully God saw us to safety. My point to this story is that it is so scary not seeing signs to warn or tell us where we are going. We are humans. We fail. We need directions. When we can’t see what is coming ahead of us, we will soon meet what C. S. Lewis calls the “safest road to Hell.” Slowly, without realizing it, one finds themselves lost. No caution or blinking read lights. Just a slow decent. “Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.”

Plantinga- Chapter 2- Creation

In the second chapter by Cornelius Plantinga, I feel like nothing new was taught to me about Creation, but rather I was reminded of many things that I should spend more time dwelling on. He made a lot of good points that sent my mind into motion. 

Have you ever sat down and watched the documentary “Planet Earth?” I highly recommend it if you haven’t. In the beginning of the section titled “The Book of Creation,” Plantinga goes into detail about the wonders of Creation. “God made grasshoppers that look like leaves and beetles that hitchhike on the backs of bees. Perhaps in a whimsical mood, God made the duckbilled platypus, and also “gooney” birds, a member of the albatross family...” Though I have no idea what the albatross family looks like, I was reminded how in “Planet Earth,” there were many authentic and unique type of species of birds presented and one can also see a widespread variety of animals. How truly awesome our God is. Christina Rossetti, in her poem, says it well when she says “Lord, purge our eyes to see within the seed a tree, within the glowing egg a bird, within the shroud a butterfly; Till taught by such, we see beyond all creatures thee and harken for thy tender word and hear it, “Fear not; it is I.” 

As I dove deeper into the book, I came across a section that stood out to me that I briefly talked about in class. God took time to rest and so do we. Working is a good thing to do, but so is thinking about life afterwards and for me, this is something that I all too quickly forget to do. “Silences may fill us with longing for goodness and listening for God. Silence lets us brood over things that make us deep. Silence may become a cradle of delight.” In culture today, we limit the power of silence. We instead challenge it with music and talking. Ecclesiastes 5:2 says “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.”  I think this is so important to do. Today at the January Series, Andy Crouch led the audience in song and my favorite went like this - “Thank you Lord, I just want to thank you Lord.” How simple but yet true. Sometimes we must be diligent in letting our words be few and simply being still. 

The Weight of Glory

C. S. Lewis is a beautiful writer who has been blessed with a decisive and pondering heart. One thing that he is not afraid to address are his ideas, whether someone might agree with them or not. He states what he believes is true which is so ultimately refreshing.  

When I was younger, I loved to read the Nancy Drew mystery books. I remember one day in the summer when I relished the idea of getting the next in the series at the library. It seemed so exciting, especially not knowing what I was going to get myself into. Also, in past summers before high school, my brother and I would get all the neighborhood children into our yard and play some game, whether it was capture the flag, ghost in the graveyard, or hide-and-go-seek tag. Soon life changed a little and now that I am in college, the simple things that I long for are just the ability to sit at the dinner table and talk to my mom while she cooks dinner, read the Bible with my little sister each night before she ventures into dream land, or cozy up next to the fire at my home with a good book. All these are good memories to have. They reflect something that is beautiful. But if this is all that I long for at college, don’t I start desiring the past more than I do God? Though it is not wrong to be caught in what many call homesickness, what is wrong is when that is all that I think about. It is like what C. S. Lewis says, “These things - the beauty, the memory of our own past - are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of their worshippers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never visited.” Desires and wants are not bad, but I MUST ultimately desire the maker of desires, God himself. 

Over Christmas, my little sister wanted to surprise me so she decided to buy me presents with her own money. I was not expecting this because I did not even know she had money. Christmas morning came and in my stocking I found a pink snowflake stamp, some tiny precious moment chimes, and a colored ornament that I still have yet to figure out what it is. My sister Christy watched as I took them out one by one, carefully watching each expression of joy shared. “Do you like them sis?” She would ask. My hug and kiss told her I did. How beautiful children are. C. S. Lewis gives a great description when he says that “nothing is so obvious in a child - not in a conceited child, but a good child - as its great and undisguised pleasure in being praised...apparently what I have mistaken for humility had, all these years, prevented me from understanding what is in fact the humblest, the most childlike, the most creaturely of pleasures...the specific pleasure of an inferior: the pleasure a beast before a men, a child before its father, a pupil before its teacher, a creature before its Creator.” Let us not underestimate the beauty in children. 

Our English Syllabus

In “Our English Syllabus,” C.S. Lewis weaves a beautiful essay about what schooling is and the pursuit of knowledge. What is the pursuit of knowledge you may ask? According to C. S. Lewis, it is the role of a student. It means that I, being a freshman, must be driven by a passionate and on fire heart to learn and let my mind be fed by its “natural food.” My first thought after reading this essay was that I would have loved to have read this last year, my senior year of high school. 

Everyone has different talents, different gifts, different desires so everyone finds different things that they may want to pursue. “One may want to know what happened a million years ago, another, what happens a million light-years away, a third, what is happening in his own table on the microscopic level. What is common to them all is the thirst for knowledge.” Temple Grandin touched home with me today. Born with autism, yet not letting that stop her, she has pursued knowledge in animal behavior. Though I don’t know her views on God, I do know that she is a good example of finding what she loves and what she is good at and learning as much as she can to the best of her ability. As Christians, we are called to “do all to the Glory of God.” Sadly, our world looks at someone born with a disability and  feels bad for them thinking that there is not much they can amount to. But having a sister born with a disability, I know for a fact this is not true. No matter who we are and what we were born with, we can all find something that we are excited learning about and do it to the best that we can, through Christ. 

“It may be disappointing to stop a story in the middle, but you can understand it as far as you have gone; you cannot understand it if you begin the in the middle.” One thing I have learned in life is that this is so true. It is a challenge for me to desire to pursue knowledge to the best that I can if I do not know everything about it from first to last. When you see two friends talking and then you decide to catch up with them, it is hard to understand the conversation that you walked into unless they start right back at the beginning. This is also true when it comes to the Bible. If I was reading the Bible for the first time and started in Matthew 1, everyone in Christ’s genealogy would be bringing up question marks in my mind - why the random women mentioned, is Jesus Christ important, who is Abraham? Like I can not know the depth of the love of God if I only just read from the New Testament, if I desire to know more about my major, I must pursue all the knowledge I can about it - not just what has been presently found out.   

Longing and Hope- Plantinga Ch.1

Cornelius Plantinga Jr.‘s first chapter in “Engaging God’s World” goes into great detail about what it means to deeply hope and long. A favorite quote that he uses is from C. S. Lewis. 

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when      infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

How sad it is that we are easily pleased. I can not help but think of Christmas. It is our human nature to be excited and happy when we get what we want but do we really truly know what we want in life. What if what God has planned is way more exciting and adventurous than a boring and comfortable life that I have picked out for myself. This summer was spent in Colorado with my grandparents, mom, and little sister. We were there to help my grandpa recover after kidney failure. Everything about Colorado is beautiful - the mountains, crisp morning air, open land, and so much more. Many days were spent in a rehabilitation clinic encouraging and helping my grandpa so my little sister and I would often play boardgames with other senior citizens or enjoy a game of tag or hide-and-go-seek on the newly cut grass. Yet...how rare was it for us to journey to the mountains literally right next to us and hike. Hmmm...there is something wrong with that picture. We didn’t always have to confine ourselves to my grandpa’s clinic but we did when we were offered a world more exciting beyond what we knew. What we know of this infinite joy, we have only gotten glimpses of. God offers it to us abundantly through Him but we do not always accept it. It is true that nothing in this earth can ever satisfy us. I like the quote by J. R. R. Tolkien that talks about our final joy lying “beyond the walls of the world.” How encouraging this is to me. Life would be so depressing to me if the only joys in my life came from what the shallow, broken world had to offer. The world can only fill my cup an eighth of the way, whereas my Heavenly Father overflows it with joy and fulfillment beyond any that I will ever know. 

I love what St. Augustine prays, “O Lord, you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” Part of this resting means that we trust in Him to supply our future for us. We let Him care for us as our Heavenly Father longs to do. This reminds me of Psalm 91:1,2, “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” 

Have no 'Right to Happiness'

What is a right? C. S. Lewis describes a right as being "a freedom guaranteed [him] by the laws of the society [he] lives in [and] a claim guaranteed me by the laws, and correlative to an obligation on someone else's part." One time, C. S. Lewis and a friend talked about what the meaning of the "right to happiness" means. He and his friend Clare talked about "Mr. A who deserted Mrs. A. and got a divorce in order to marry Mrs. B., who had likewise got her divorce in order to marry Mr. A." Though Mr. and Mrs. A and Mr. and Mrs. B had made wedding vows "till death do us part," that seemed not to matter because as Mrs. B said "life with him was no longer what she had bargained for."

God has been showing me how important it is to keep my word. One of the biggest ways friends hurt me are when their words do not follow through with their actions. When Mr. A. got divorced in order to marry Mrs. B., thus leading Mrs. A. and Mr. B. to marry also, so many vows and words were forgotten. If one is willing to break their marriage vows and send them out the window in order for happiness, then there is so much more that one can be capable of breaking. Marriage is supposed to be a beautiful picture of Christ and the church.  How are these four humans different than all of us...how are they different than me? "Well," I might say, "I am not married." Yes, that is a literal difference but in everyday life, do I hear myself say "Because of such and such, I deserve this."

I am very good at justifying my actions. I did this over Christmas break a lot. Studying hard for finals wears out the brain and makes one long for just the simpleness of being bored. I let this desire become a right and furthermore, become selfish. When I was reading, I never thought that maybe I should help my mom with dinner. When I had spent all morning with friends and desided to spend the rest of the afternoon with another, I didn't comprehend that instead I should take my little sister, who I barely talked to all day, sledding. I felt like I deserved and had a right to what I wanted. How wickedly selfish that is. What a great reminder of the need for the beautiful grace God gives. I must learn from my mistakes.  "What shall we say, then? Shall we go in sinning so that grace may increase?" (Romans 6:1) NO! May we all be men and woman of God who stay true to our purpose in life and keep running the race and finish strong. Our Heavenly Father does not want us to be slaves to our selfishness or to any sin for that matter but rather wants us to live under grace. He wants us to see our sin, repent of it, and be set free from its bondage. God alone knows my heart and He knows that I needed to be reminded of this.